I had the privilege recently of listening to a keynote given by Julio Olalla, founder of the Newfield Network (a coaching institute) and well known in coaching circles. He was magnificent. He spoke about many things but something that resonated with me was this statement "When we declare a dream, the first thing we realize is that we are incompetent to get there, so many of us declare nothing at all."
WOW! Talk about a lightbulb moment!! I thought to myself, "How true is that?" It resonated with me because I have done hundreds of consults in which the potential client declares a dream and then quickly discusses all the reason why they "can't" make it happen. I have also been there at various times in my own life! I remember when I was a "young" drug rep. I didn't have much industry experience but I had come to the industry with five years of leadership experience from another organization. My goal at the time was to get back into management as quickly as possible but when I had the first opportunity to put my hat in the ring, I didn't go for it. Why? I believed at the time that I still didn't have enough "industry" experience and rather than go for it and fail (or even scarier – succeed), I chose not to play.
How often have you declared a goal and decided that you didn't have what it took to get there or be successful?
The beauty (and comfort) of Mr. Olalla's statement was the realization that on some level, we are all incompetent! As long as you are growing and stretching, you will always find yourself in unfamiliar territory which translates into having some degree of incompetence. Don't fear it – welcome it! Our ego's tell us that we should know it all – what a bunch of hogwash! Whether it's a job or starting a company, you take the first step and then you learn what you need to learn to be successful in getting to the next.
When I began my coaching company, the only thing I had a handle on was coaching! I had to face the reality of all the things I DIDN'T know about running a company, how to market, how to create products, determining WHAT products my audience needed, etc. I could easily have stopped within the first five minutes! We have to recognize that when we choose to take a journey, the ONLY thing we may be clear about is that we want to take the journey – even the destination may be fuzzy! We stop because we "think" we should know the route and because we don't, we decide that we're in over our heads and we quit.
The journey to goal creation is no different than taking a trip from Florida to California. Once I decide to take the trip, there are a ton of options about how to get there. Do I drive? Fly? Walk? Take a train? (yes, walking is an option!) If I drive, what route do I take? Do I want to go straight from Florida to California or are there places or people to visit along the way? If you get overwhelmed in all the possible permutations of getting there, you may change your mind and stay in Florida but you then miss the richness of the experience of trying to get to California!
Not only do we face a myriad of tactical decisions that could stop us, we face the internal dialogue that constantly plagues us:
What if I fail?
What if I succeed?
What if I get "too" big?
What will others think of me?
Will others "get" it?
What if they don't? etc, etc.
As a coach, I am no different than you. I am a human being with frailties and fears. What may distinguish me is that this time, my incompetence didn't stop me. I found my purpose and I chose to honor it. I joyfully live with a certain degree of incompetence because I realize that on some level, it means that I am courageous enough to declare and live my vision! The beauty of fluidity is that my journey has taken me in so many amazing and wonderful directions that are far from what I thought it might look like when I began. Opportunities do show up when we allow our boldness to shine. What I have come to learn is that what I need always shows up when I need it – NOT to be confused with what I WANT but sometimes that shows up too. :-) I'm smart enough (most of the time) to acknowledge what it is I don't know (or that I don't know what I don't know) and try to stay open enough to see and accept the gifts that are offered to me in support of my quest and my dream.
Will you join me? Just for today live in gracious incompetence. Choose power instead of fear. Choose abundance instead of scarcity. Choose gratitude instead of selfishness. Choose joyful living instead of existing…
Are you there? I would love to hear your story!
You were born to be great.
YES, you can!